Let’s be honest, it can be hard to go against the grain. There are evolutionary reasons why people are drawn to following the herd and not standing out. But, as humans, there are also plenty of benefits to being the odd (wo)man out and speaking up about things that are wrong. What would our present day look like if it weren’t for those brave people who stepped out of the proverbial line and said, “Enough is enough!”

I’m here to tell you that this issue (cutting skin off your child’s penis) is important enough that you need to step out of the line. And fear not, brave one, statistics around the globe and in the United States can assure you that you aren’t alone. You aren’t part of a fringe group. You are part of a growing movement for human rights. We’ve made a lot of positive changes in the last 100 years. We’re going to make a lot more in the next 100. We can’t be comfortable with status quo when it allows for inflicting a horrific practice on our most innocent and precious civilians. Don’t just step out of line — dance out of that line, because you are helping to make change for future generations of boys and men, children and the adults they will become.

So, that’s number 1. You’ve got to be willing to be different and go a little bit against the grain, but also know that the numbers are in your favor. Someone else in your neighborhood has a kid with an intact penis, and soon, a lot more of your neighbors will too. You’re not going to be Weird Wanda. You’re going to be Leader Louise!

Not yet convinced that this issue is worth holding up a protest sign? Watch a few videos and then come right back to this spot. (I’m waiting.) Ready now? Fabulous! Find your people.

You’re also going to have to wrap your mind around what the normal, whole penis looks like. You may have never seen an intact (not circumcised) penis. Or, you may have seen (or felt) one once back in college, but didn’t have an opportunity to give it a good stare-down. Or, maybe you’re quite comfortable with an intact adult penis, but not really sure about the infant variety. I’ll be honest, I’ve had multiple opportunities to closely examine intact adult penises. And I liked 'em. A lot.

But, an infant's intact penis was new to me. And, while I’d had plenty of exposure to intact adult penises, I’d had more exposure to cut adult penises. When my son was born, as much as I knew I was making the right decision, as much as I knew he and his future partner would one day thank me, the intact baby penis still took some getting used to in the visual effects department. It was a new sight to me. But, really, having only had a daughter previously, if my son’s penis had come out of my womb looking cut, that would have taken some adjustment for my eyeballs too, because penises smaller than pinky fingers are just not something I’d seen much of in my life.

So, there’s number 2. Realize that tiny penises look different than adult penises, so your retinas may need some time to adjust to the tiny little appendage. They will adjust, I promise. Also, if you’re more familiar with the appearance of the vulva, or with the cut penis and its associated scarring, again, just give yourself a little time.

This is a tough one. Number 3. You’re going to have to wrap your head around how and why highly educated doctors are encouraging, condoning, and performing this awful practice if it’s so wrong. Here’s what I can tell you: 1. Medicine, like everything else in society, is always evolving. Did you know that up until the 1980s, babies were routinely not given proper anesthesia for open heart surgery? That’s just one of many available examples. 2. Many medical practices from 50 years ago would scare the living daylights out of you, and 3. Doctors are also humans who are prone to the same cultural conditioning to which we are all prone. They may even be more steadfast in their convictions if they choose to rest on the laurels of their education and assume that they were taught indisputable facts, rather than remain open to an evolving understanding of the human body.

I recommend reading up on penile genital cutting statistics in other developed countries (it is much more of a rarity), checking out circumcision policy statements from health organizations around the world, and looking into doctors in the U.S. who are bravely and boldly leading the healthcare industry out of the dark ages.

You’re also going to have to know, really KNOW, that your child is not going to be a social pariah or a 40-year-old virgin because they have their foreskin. That’s number 4. How do you know this without actually knowing it? Because you will teach your kid to love and appreciate their whole body, just as you love and appreciate your whole body. And you might worry, What culturally-conditioned foreskin-phobic American will love my child with a natural penis? The answer? The kind of person you would want to love your child: someone who isn’t afraid to go against the grain, who seeks knowledge and is open to new information, who wants to experience the pleasure that foreskin will bring, who will love every inch of your grown child’s whole body, and will want to leave your future grand-babies whole and perfect, too.

And, finally, number 5. You’re going to have to be able to not buy into the “cutting off your baby’s foreskin will prevent disease” hype. The list of things that foreskin removal “treats” has changed over the years. A popular claim right now is HIV. I think it’s safe to say most people, with or without foreskin, would choose to wear a condom to protect themselves from HIV.

A circumcised adult isn’t magically protected from contracting the virus from an HIV-positive partner just because the foreskin of the penis is absent. Common sense. Furthermore, the studies used to support such claims about the “benefits” of circumcision are riddled with issues, as you can see here. UTIs? Reproductive systems with vulvas/vaginas are more prone to UTIs than those with penises, and medicinal treatment options work just fine for both. UTIs do not require surgery. If you want to talk about cancers, according to prominent cancer organizations, lifetime risk of vulvar cancer is much greater than lifetime risk of penile cancer, yet we rightfully do not use this as an excuse to remove parts of the vulva at birth. Breast cancer for all sexes is also more common than penile cancer. (By the way, you can still get penile cancer if you have your foreskin removed, but it is extremely rare regardless). We do not remove any other body parts at birth for “cancer prevention.” It’s nonsense.

In summary: It’s OK to say no. Your child’s foreskin will not ruin your life. (Taking their foreskin could ruin their life, however.) Baby penises don’t look like adult penises. Doctors are not omniscient; they are a product of their society as much as anyone else. Your adult child and their foreskin will be loved by their significant other. Foreskin isn’t deadly; if it wasn’t meant to be there, people wouldn’t be born with it. It serves a lot of important functions that will benefit your child for their entire life . . . just like having an awesome foreskin-supporting parent will benefit them their entire life.

Please, let your child be part of #GenerationIntact. No matter their gender, children are born perfect.

Jen Williams is the founder of Your Whole Baby. She is raising two intact children and is passionate about many causes, including the human rights violation of genital cutting happening to children around the world.